Lagniappe (Something Extra)
By Kate Williams, Toddler Class Teacher
I grew up in South Louisiana in the heart of Cajun country. (And yes, both the food and music are as amazing as you’ve heard!) My Cajun neighbors had a word and a concept called “Lagniappe” that I find invaluable. Lagniappe is “a little something extra”. The 13th pastry in the baker's dozen, the freebie thrown in with your purchase, or the little something you didn’t expect but is a happy surprise when you discover it. Not something you were aiming for or expecting, but a delightful, little bonus.
Lagniappe always felt like an affectionate thing for me. Something given with love or at least kind wishes. A sharing with the hope of making someone’s day better and life a little sweeter. Receiving a lagniappe always made me feel seen, cared for, and warmly grateful. Like just doing my everyday life would naturally lead to good things. Parenting intentionally- as we coach our families at CCNS to do in our Parent Education classes- always has a lagniappe.
In the Parent Education classes for our Toddler Class we start by learning about our kiddos’ (and all humans’) brains and the basics of neuroregulation. Building an informed understanding of how our toddlers brains and bodies work and what they need to grow and develop… it’s a joy for my mind and my heart. Such understanding is powerful. As a tool in parenting it gives us shortcuts and windows into the needs and motivations of our very young children. It inspires empathy and insight in us that lead to connection and better communication with the children in our care. Our parenting strategies get more effective and our prioritization among the many competing priorities of our daily lives gets clearer and easier. We understand not just what our children need but also what’s possible and what we can just let go. We learn about our kids, and as a lagniappe we learn about ourselves.
CCNS is not just a co-op school. It's a parent-education co-op where our families are not just seeking to hang out and have fun with the students in the classroom (although we certainly do lots of that, too!).
CCNS is not just a co-op school. It's a parent-education co-op where our families are not just seeking to hang out and have fun with the students in the classroom (although we certainly do lots of that, too!). Our families are also seeking to learn and grow and develop themselves as parents and people. These efforts have some wonderful “side effects” or lagniappe for our families:
Anyone who is parenting and paying attention is going to be challenged by their child. Not just challenged in the skills needed to support their child's development- that aspect is easier to see. As parents we are also challenged in our own emotional and psychological understanding of ourselves and how it affects all of our relationships, including with our children. If we ignore that challenge the first three times, don’t worry- our child will keep it up until we do pay attention!
As so many of my class families have observed, being an engaged and intentional parent brings up all sorts of personal growth opportunities, “unfinished business”, and growth edges for each of us. Having these issues brought up by our kids makes parenting challenging- we often want to just make it out of the checkout line in peace, not deal with our unaddressed personal baggage right this moment! But it also makes the work of parenting extra rewarding. When we find ways to work on the adult personal or growth issues our children bring up, our children are not the only ones who benefit… we adults benefit, too. We grow, we learn, we heal, and we become healthier and more whole.
Working to be an intentional & healthy parent means working to be an intentional & healthy person, too. At CCNS we work hard on the skills that help us communicate with, understand, and support the children in our school environment… and so many of those same skills apply to all the other human beings in our lives. When we stretch to be better parents we become better everything- partners, coworkers, leaders, siblings, friends, & neighbors. Better humans.
Every day I am grateful to the kiddos in my class. I’m grateful to them for challenging us adults just by being themselves. I’m grateful to them for being the catalyst for us adults to grow and develop as human beings and as parents.
Every day I am grateful to the kiddos in my class. I’m grateful to them for challenging us adults just by being themselves. I’m grateful to them for being the catalyst for us adults to grow and develop as human beings and as parents. But that’s not the only lagniappe of working with them. I’m also grateful to our students for inspiring and reminding us adults of important things we may have forgotten. They model for us adults how to be present in the moment, to feel deeply, to express thoughts and feelings openly, and how to be fearlessly creative. As adults we can forget how to do such things in the hustle and bustle of trying to “get stuff done”. But everyday, just by being themselves the kiddos in my class remind us adults of these vital life skills and demonstrate the power of them as well.
Every day I’m also grateful to the families working in my class. I’m grateful to them for taking both parenting and working in our classroom seriously but also with a healthy sense of humor.
I’m grateful for their moment to moment efforts in finding the balance between figuring out how to make it work and learning when to Let It Go. But mostly I’m grateful to them for being willing to be curious, present, flexible, vulnerable, and kind… just like we want our children to be. At CCNS in working hard to help our little ones grow up to be resilient, empathetic, and persistent adults we have the lagniappe of becoming more resilient, empathetic, and persistent adults ourselves.
